I have said all along that I really don't want to be a Weeble wobbling down the aisle on my wedding day and I don't want to be a bride who insists that I'm only photographed from my neck up because she can't bare to see herself in photos with all her flabby bits on show! You might well say that it doesn't matter and that Mr R is marrying you for who you are, flabby bits or no flabby bits, but it really matters to me that I look and feel my very best, so rather than carry on sitting on my more than ample posterior, I need to actually do something about it!
My weight has always been an issue, ever since I was a little girl. I wasn't a chubby child. Far from it. In fact I was at times underweight. The women on my mum's side of the family were all very overweight, and my mum battled with the extra pounds too. Puddings,cakes and other goodies were a rare treat, not just because we were hard up and they were a luxury we couldn't afford, but because we were often told that they would make you fat ! I remained skinny throughout my adolescence and twenties with the exception of very podgy knees, but looking back at old diaries I see that I noted down my calorie intake on a regular basis. There was a time when I seemed to live on nothing but boil in the bag fish !
I have always had a healthy appetite. I have loved food ever since I discovered that I wasn't half bad at cooking. I love eating out, reading about it and my idea of heaven is being let loose in a food hall such as Harrods! I don't eat badly, just lots of it. My skinny days came to an end after the birth of my boys and then I began to get bigger and bigger and soon I had become one of those big fat ladies on my mum's side of the family!
So the years of yoyo dieting began. Husband number one was very image concious when it came to body shape and it was obvious that he was more than a little disappointed that his once slim wife had become a bit of a blob.He told me often enough that I needed to do something about it, and so did my mum !
Six years ago I was at my heaviest. I felt so unattractive and had no energy. Enough was enough and I took the bull by the horns and did something about it. I joined Slimming World and a local gym and worked hard to loose the pounds. It might be something to do with working with five year olds, but I was motivated by the fact that I got a sticker for doing well, and wanted to collect more than anyone else ! Twelve months after joining I had lost an amazing four stone and boy, did I feel and look good!
But, as with all previous attempts, as soon as I stopped dieting the pounds and some more crept slowly back on. Meanwhile I had met Mr R and I was on top of the world. All thoughts of dieting went well and truly out of the window.
So here I am now, only ten and a bit months away from our wedding. Not looking like a beached whale on our wedding day is important, but being slimmer beyond the day is what really counts. I need to think of my long term health. I am fed up with puffing and panting climbing stairs and would really love to be able to paint my toe nails again without the spare tyres getting in the way. How lovely it would be as well, to find clothes that fit, and look good. But I'm not exactly in the first flush of youth. So will the fact that I've just turned menopausal make losing weight extra difficult? And suffering from hypothyroidism isn't going to help either. However, I'm determined to shed those unwanted pounds.Dieting works short term, but to lose weight and keep it off, a change in eating habits is what's called for. I need to just eat less, make healthy food choices and get moving !
To get moving I've joined Curves ,a ladies only gym that involves 30 minutes three times a week total body workout that combines a mixture of aerobic exercise and strength training. You get measured and weighed monthly which is definately an incentive and the fact that the gym is on my way home from work means that I have no excuse for not going.I've also started to walk to work. I arrive all hot and sweaty and in need of a lie down, but those serotonin levels must be on the increase because I really do feel rather chuffed once I've done it.
So, now comes the moment of being totally honest and reveal some pretty scary numbers. I am 52 and 5ft tall. I last weighed in six weeks ago at 14st 6lbs. I am therefore rated as being obese. I can squeeze into a size 18...just! My total body fat percentage is just under 50%.That, I have to say was a bit of a shocker. Hard to imagine that once upon the time I auditioned for the Royal Ballet School. Today I'm less Suger Plum Fairy and more fairy elephant!
I'm going to record what I've (hopefully) lost here on my blog. Maybe that way I'll keep on the straight and narrow! It's a bit of a tall order thinking that I can lose another four stone, but who knows, with lots of will power and a goal in sight I might just get close! Please keep your toes and fingers well and truly crossed for me!