Tuesday, 12 June 2012

Silk purses and sows ears!

Usually when I write my little blog I'm feeling upbeat and silly enough to add a sprinkling of humour. However today I seem to be sadly lacking on the upbeat front and feeling positively unfunny. The reason behind my decidedly downbeat frame of mind is mainly due to the fact that Ive got my second dress fitting tomorrow and I am dreading it. When I had my first fitting a few weeks ago I came away feeling very unlovely and disappointed with the whole experience. The seamstress although she probably didn't mean to be, was standoffish, which in turn made me feel really uncomfortable. It didn't help having to strip off to put on the dress. I go to great lengths to keep covered up as I'm very self concious of all of my lumps and bumps and nobody, apart from the rather lovely Mr R gets to see me in nothing but my undies!

We saw our photographer last week, who really takes the most amazing photos. I was almost tempted to ask him if he could keep photos of me to a minimum or at least make good use of photoshop and  airbrushing! Maybe I've been reading too many blogs that all seem to feature beautiful and young brides and am getting what is obviously the wrong view, that all brides are therefore young,gorgeous and a size 10! . A silly thought also keeps rearing it's ugly head...our guests will be quietly singing... "Here comes the bride...small,fat and wide".. as I waddle down the aisle in shoes that I can just about walk in and in a dress that makes me look like a big fat cream puff!

 After all of the months of effort to make our venue look amazing, I seem to have put next to no effort to make myself look fabulous for my big day. The diet never happened, nor did the full on exercise regime to tone me up. I wanted to indulge in a little pampering, but my budget seems to be swollowed up with frequent online forays into the world of Amazon and Ebay! I had my make up and hair trial last week, which was great fun, and my fab make up artist did a wonderful job. I actually felt rather pretty after she had finished, but even so, the saying "You can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear" came to mind! I still feel a bit of an imposter in the sisterhood of brides and that I have no place in their world. How utterly ridiculous is that!
Mybe I feel like this because my hair is too long and desperately need colouring which is just making me feel bleugh all the time. Roll on a weeks time when the grey gets covered up, and then for the big post wedding hair cut. I really can't wait!
I know that I'm being really daft and maybe I'm not seeing the whole picture when it comes to the true meaning of the day. Ultimately the day isn't about the dress, hair shoes etc . That's the superficial bit. The most important bit is that I'll be marrying the man I love to pieces surrounded by everyone who mean so much to us, and who are there to share in
 our happiness.
But, I can't help feeling old fat and very unlovely at the moment.Where is a fairy godmother when you need one to transform me into the belle of the ball!